Hello hello!

Good question!  I guess you’re asking why I hash-tagged that photo as “sex positive”? It’s speaking to the ongoing discussion about feminism and BDSM, and how all our kinky feminist friends can reconcile the two.

The rundown:

Here’s the thing - It’s totally legit to punch someone in the face for calling you a dirty slut in the street, but be into that in the bedroom. Feminists aren’t giving up any of their agency by choosing to be subs / to be dominated / to engage in kinky sex. Part of being sex positive is being aware of the fact that if you and your partner(s) are both (all) into it, and there’s vocal, enthusiastic and positive consent (hey I have a theme tonight!), then it’s awesome. Sex positivity for me means being non-judgmental about kink, vanilla, abstinence, and all the zajillions of other kinds of sexual choices that people make for themselves*. Sex positivity for me means that I indulge in what I want to in the privacy of my own sex life, and support other people in doing that too. If you want to be tied up and have your hair pulled, power to you. If you want it quietly in the dark with the lights out / can only get off in the shower / like it in heels / want to take it from a strap-on / like it best by yourself / like it best with everyone, power to you.  Sex positive = being open with yourself and your partner(s) about what you like and don’t like, and are willing to claim the power of your own pleasure, however you choose to get it.  

That’s the back story! For me, sex positivity means that I get what I want in the bedroom. And sometimes, I want to wear mesh underoos and have my hair pulled. 

<3 youdon’tlooklikeafeminist

*CONSENT! Get it. I’m judgmental as shit if people are into not getting consent.