I was recently doing some stand up at a club. After one of my sets, I walked into the bar where a friend of mine who is a comic and also happens to be a tall and pretty lady was standing with a few other people. They were having an animated discussion.
The guy at the bar – whom I had never met before – looked at me and saw my glasses, my ill fitting clothes, my bad posture, and I guess he saw in me a kindred spirit.
“Here,” he said, “this guy will get it. Dude, don’t you think hot girls have it easiest in the world?”
I answered without thinking. My words vomited up out of me.
“No, not at all,” I said. “Being a hot girl seems awful.”
“No, I’m not kidding,” I said. “Why does it suck to look like you and me? Because hot girls won’t talk to us when we’re dumb teenagers… I’d rather have that then spend my whole life with guys yelling shit at me when I walk down the street. I’d rather be lonely for a few years early on then spend every day getting creeped out by gross dudes staring at my chest when I’m just trying to go to the supermarket to buy some fucking vegetables.”
“Yeah,” he said, “but they get whatever they want all the time.”
“Do they?” I asked. “I’m sure they get into clubs I can’t get into, or get drinks served to them without waiting as long as I have to. But they also get judged for wearing the clothes they wear. Or get pressured for not putting out. Or have to worry constantly, at least a little in the back of their mind, about getting raped.”
The guy just stared at me.
“I don’t know dude,” I said. “Hot girls don’t have it easy.”
My friend who is tall and pretty looked at me and smirked and said, “Good answer.” And we walked away together.
Hot girls don’t have it easy. They don’t have it easy for all those reasons I told that guy, and so many more. But most of all, they don’t have it easy because dummies like that guy look at them and see them as “hot girls” instead of seeing them as “three dimensional human beings.”
And that’s what drives me nuts about “the good guys”.
“I’m a good guy, why don’t hot chicks like me?” Are you really a good guy when you say shit like “hot chicks”?
“I’m a nice guy, girls don’t pay any attention to me.” Are you sure you’re a nice guy? Because if your main concern is getting girls to pay attention to you for how nice you are, it sounds to me like maybe you’re not actually nice and you’re presenting yourself as nice to trick a girl you crave into thinking you’re nice. And that’s not very nice.